Sunday, August 10, 2014

How To Get Over A Breakup

Breaking up is one of the hardest things people experience.  Weather you are on the breaking end or the broken, it always hurts.  Recently I went through a particularly bad break up, and only through doing the following things did I start to feel better.  So I am sharing them with the world, in hopes that they might help someone else get over the pain a bit quicker, and get back to the good life.

1) Acceptance
Cut off communication with your ex, at least for the time being.  Seeing him or her will just make you feel even worse then you already do.  No conversation is going to make you feel better about the loss, so just avoid it at all costs.  Its over, for whatever reason, and you will be okay.  Hopefully you will be better for it!

2) Make a couple lists: 
a) What are you grateful for in life?
Writing a list of the top 10 things you are grateful for, and framing it by your bed so you see it every morning, is a great way to look through the pain and realize what is really important in life.  Remembering to appreciate your family, or healthy body, is a powerful tool you can use to get your sad butt out of bed.

b) What kind of things do YOU like to do?
In relationships we tend to make a lot of compromises.  One thing I did a lot in my last relationship was watch movies before bed with my ex-boyfriend.  Once we broke up I realized that I would rather read before bed.  I remembered that I loved to run at night rather then hanging out with him at his house being ignored when his friends came over.  Making a list of all the things that you like to do will remind you who you genuinely are.  You will learn to reconnect with your authentic self once you see it on paper.

3) Change your routine.
This step correlates with list B from step 2! A lot of times the hardest part of losing someone is the drastic change in every day events.  You woke up with them every morning, and now you wake up alone.  You went to lunch everyday, but now you fend for yourself.  Or the worst: you are halfway through Breaking Bad, and now there is no one around to watch it with you! The great thing about writing out what kinds of things you like to do is that you can create your own routine centered around yourself.  It will feel strange at first, but trust me, you will fall into it pretty easily.  Before long, you will be living each day for YOU, and no one else.

4) Be selfish.  
Focus on being the you that you want to be, not who you feel you should be according
to anyone else.  Before making any decisions really look inward to see if it is really what you want.  When I say "be selfish", I don't mean turn into a mean person who rages against manners.  Just really focus on what makes you genuinely happy, and follow those feelings.

5) Connect with family and close friends: They will never leave you.
Family and close friends are wonderful, because they are the people in your life who can never break up with you!  Embrace the people in your life who are built in support.  Learn to appreciate your siblings and close friends more then you ever have before.  Its this kind of love that heals the soul.

Don't worry, you will be loved again.  Its just a matter of time, so never let that get you down.



  1. I love this. I love that you are in a place where you can write about this. :) I love that you are blogging again. These are all SO true and I hope they can benefit others as well!