New Years Resolutions: The Best Time of the Year!

I love New Years Eve.  More then that, I love making new years resolutions.  Generally, every new year I like to make about 3 resolutions.  One general, one practical, and one personalized.  I usually meet my resolutions too! They are very motivating for me.  Its weather or not I maintain is the issue.
Anyway! This year I only have two, because well, one of them is going to take a lot of work!

My New Year Resolutions for 2015 are:

1) To discover this brilliant thing called self control, and develop some!
2) Nest my bedroom and create the most inviting atmosphere possible.

Self Control
As it is, I basically live without boundaries.  I follow my ID where ever it takes me and call it my "free spirit".  In the moment, doing what ever I feel like is super fun.  It gives me a false sense of control.  I like eating whatever I want, buying whatever I want, and doing whatever I want.  I do have some boundaries (like don't have sex with strangers) but generally I do whatever will make me happy in the moment.  If you want to get physcoanalytical, I am sure there is something deeply wrong with the excitement I get from being able to go to the store, buy a bunch of junk food, and have a binge fest while watching my seventh hour of Supernatural.  The problem is that these behaviors have a negative effect on the goals I am consistently trying to reach.  I tend to find myself in a yo-yo situation, feeling the constant push and pull of what I want in the moment, and what I really want out of my life.

Honestly, I am tired of having the conflict.  I would like to get rid of it, and now I have the perfect excuse: I'm 30 years old, and its time to grow up.  That simple.
So! here is where the resolution comes in.  I will set up boundaries for myself, and deeply commit to certain desires I want for my life.  I want to be happy, healthy, strong and fit, and dedicate my life to helping others.

The easiest boundary to set up would revolve around food, and the choices I make.  I will only put nutrient-dense foods into my system.  Instead of eating for pure pleasure, I will eat for fuel.  I am an active person, and I genuinely love working out.  I would like to start seeing results from my efforts, but as it is I ruin it by eating too much or just pure crap.  I anticipate the first month will be difficult.  Sugar detox is pretty intense.  But I will start seeing food in terms of protein, fat, and complex carbohydrates, which should help avert me from useless foods.

Its not just food though, the last two years were really hard on me.  I was in a relationship that tore me down so badly I had to go to therapy and get on anti-anxiety meds.  I am happy to report that after almost an entire year of trying to heal myself after the relationship failed, I am finally back to my former self.  I didn't realize it until I was at my best friends wedding a few weeks ago that I am back to my original self, and she is awesome!  I don't ever want to lose myself again.  Ever.  I will never let anyone ever tear me down again.  So I will make social boundaries for myself as well.  I will keep unhealthy people out of my life.  I wont date boys who don't like me (wow, doesn't that sound obvious? well, it wasn't before), I wont chase anyones friendship, and I wont hesitate to walk away the minute anyone becomes hostile to my happiness.  Wow, doesn't that sound incredibly selfish? Maybe, but I refuse to play around with my well-being anymore.  I would rather be alone for the rest of my life then be around someone who hurts me emotionally (or physically).  Here's the easiest way to look at it: I will start to treat myself as though I am my own best friend.  I wont let anyone hurt me anymore.  Period.

If feeling pretty good about developing self control, although now that I have set boundaries, the difficult part will be implementing them.  I anticipate I will learn a lot this year, and I am so excited to see the positive effects this self control will have.

Sanctuary
Currently I live in my dads house, so that I can keep my loans minimal while I am in school.  Also, having live-in childcare is invaluable! I am lucky enough to have my own room, even if it is the smallest space in the entire house.  Its so small that even two objects being out of place makes it feel crowded and messy.  Coming home from a busy day at school followed by a rowdy night at work to a messy, crowded room sucks.  It can make my head ache and my chest tighten.  Coming home to a clean, comfy, and functional space can immediately change my mood and relax me.  Waking up to the same can inspire me to take on the day like a champ.

I've set up a road map:
1) Throw away anything I don't need, and will never need.
2) Store anything I love, but don't need on a daily basis
3) Find a spot for everything left.
4) Clean out the closet (uuuuuuugggghhhhhhh)
5) Purchase new bedding that is super comfy and pretty
6) Keep it simple; dont let crap pile up.
This process may take a few months or more, but it will be a project I will happily complete.

Anyway, so those are my 2015 Resolutions, what are yours??? Seriously, I'm dying to know!

xoxo,
Cristen

To Catch A Date: The Experiment

Yesterday morning, my sister wanted to meet me at Starbucks.  Jumping at any chance to see her (she is moving at the end of the month to Arizona), and of course being addicted to my new baby niece, I said yes.  As soon as I met her in the parking lot I unstrapped that baby from her carrier so I could once again hold an angel in my arms.  This Starbucks just happened to be two doors down from the pizza place I work at, so on a whim I marched her over to meet my boss.

After a few minutes of oooh-ing ans awww-ing everyone had come to the consensus that she was, in fact, quite adorable.  We all playfully shunned my poor sister for moving at the end of the month, and then we said goodbye.  Afterwards, my sis and I went to go get that coffee, and chatted about kids, lactation, and other boring things.

Later that night, I reported to work excited to bring joy to the every-man via pizza showing up at their door like magic.  The service I provide is one step down from wizardry, and I like it that way.  Boss began to chat with me and the conversation went something like this:

Boss: you know, seeing you with a baby earlier today was really sweet.  I think you should have one of your own.
Me: um, I have one, remember? Maddex?
Boss: yeah, and Maddex wants a new brother or sister!
Me: Maddex doenst know what he wants
Boss: well first we need to find you a real man.  No more of these "kids", but someone who will take care of you the right way.
Me: yeah, ok (laughing) and where do you suppose I find one of those?
Boss: you have to go out into the world.
Me: No, I dont do that.  I come here, I go to school, the rest of the time I hang out in my room with my cat.  I like it that way.  Stop looking at me like that.
Boss: Cristen, you need to put yourself out there.
Me: what does that even mean??
Boss: Go one evening to get a Starbucks, sit at a table, read a book!
Me: and some great guy is just going to magically come up to me and ask me out? its that easy?
Boss: yes.
Me: ha!
Boss: it doesnt have to be a coffee shop.  Go out and see a movie by yourself.
Me: I do that.
Boss: Go to a nice, upscale place, like a wine bar, sit down have a glass of wine, order an appetizer.  Dress professionally.  I guarantee you'll find a nice guy.
Me: Boss, isnt that kind of pathetic.  I dont want to be one of "those girls"
Boss: older women do it all the time.
Me: Ill think about it.

Then I ran out the door with two deliveries.  But he got me thinking, is that really how people meet other people in this world? Should I at least give it a shot? Just to see what might happen?  What could I possibly lose?  Then I thought that it might be kind of a fun experiment.

So! Long story short: Ive decided to go out into the world 4 times within this next week.

1) Coffee shop to read a book
2) Go out to a movie
3) Go to a wine bar (I have a specific one in mind) to order wine and an appetizer
4) Browse the bookstore (I figure id actually find a guy id like at a bookstore)

The challenge: Im going to give it a shot.  I will record my experiences and share them here on the blog.  My hypothesis: Nothing will happen.  But I guess we will see!

October Vlog: Currents

Today I am linking up with Faith from Life W/Mrs. G & the Artist for her monthly Vlog series, and the topic this month is Currentlies! So I stole my dear friend Juels from The Other Juliette to record this blog with me.  She is hilarious, and to have her "co-host" was the best decision Ive had in a very long time.  If you aren't already a follower of Juliette, I strongly urge you to check out her blog.  She is amazing, and I guarantee you will love her!  I hope you enjoy watching.

A couple books mentioned in this Vlog are:

1) Amy Falls Down by Jincy Willett

2) This One Is Mine by Maria Semple

Too much to ask?

How To End The Cycle That's Making You Fat.

One day you wake up feeling especially bloated. You look into the mirror and hardly recognize yourself anymore. As you inspect your new "curves" you think back over the last couple days, weeks, or months and realize your lifestyle has drastically changed. Your running shoes are dusty, strewn in a corner despite how warn in you stretchy yoga pants are, and you can't remember the last time you ate a vegetable. Wait- does the tomato on your hamburger the other day count? It totally counts... Right?
Then you get dressed in "the only pants that fit you right now", and head to the kitchen to get breakfast. Alas no healthy options are available so you settle for drive through coffee and a butter croissant. By the time you get to work or school you are extremely discouraged and can't imagine how you will ever undo what's been done, so you do what's easy, which is continue to eat whatever you want, however much you want, and by the time you get home you're too tired and feeling yucky so exercising is out. But right before bed you think back to the morning and start to feel guilty about not doing better. Then you bust out the excuse: it's too hard.

This cycle seems to be never ending, but there is hope. There is a way out if you want it. And here it is:

1) The next morning, strip down to your birthday suit and jump on the scale. Hope for the worst because this is your beginning number. Later, the bigger this number is the more impressive your results will be. Then, write it down, put it away, and go get dressed.

Image by east Dallas Crossfit

2) it's time to meal plan. Since this requires planning and shopping, feel free to use this as the last day to splurge on on the awful foods you love. Try not to binge, you'll just feel worse. Sit down and map out all the meals you will have in one week. Make special note for any date nights or brunch with the girls. Once you have an idea of how many breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks you will be providing for yourself then it's time to plan out some healthy options. Keep in mind how much time you will have for each meal. Are your mornings really busy or do you get up with enough time to sit down with a cup of coffee and the paper? Do you pack your lunch or dinner? Then make a list of healthy foods you enjoy: scrambled egg whites with spinach, turkey wraps on a whole wheat tortilla, baked chicken or tofu with steamed veggies?

My suggestion is to start off with easy meals to get you going. Go ahead and plug in a healthy option for each meal you will be eating for the next week. If you're a habitual eater like me, this is really easy, because I tend to eat the same one or two things for each meal, which also cuts down on grocery costs.

You can still eat your favorite foods, just make them lower in calories and higher in nutrients with healthy swaps! Trade goldfish for whole wheat crackers. Use cucumber slices instead of chips. Zucchini noodles instead of pasta. Collard greens instead of taco shells.

Here's an example of my upcoming week:
Breakfasts: cottage cheese and green tea for mornings I'm in a rush, perfect fit pancakes for mornings when I have a little bit more time
Am snack: 1 cup grapes and 1 serving of almonds
Lunch: either quinoa salad with crackers and laughing cow cheese, or a veggie, hummus wrap on a whole wheat tortilla with a side salad.
Pm snack: perfect fit protein shake with almond milk.
Dinner: salad with choice of protein.

After you have your meals planned out its time to look over recipes and write down your shopping list. Next to the shopping list write down how you will need to use each food item. For example when shopping for the veggies to go into my veggie wraps, I will note that I need them cut length wise. While keeping in mind that I will need egg whites for my pancakes, I can then choose the liquid whites over whole eggs to keep my labor shorter.

After you have shopped till you dropped its time to prep your meals. This is where that side list of how you will be using each ingredient comes in useful. Start by dividing each food item and grouping together what you will use for each meal. Cut, dice, or peel accordingly. If you need to actually cook a recipe do so. Make sure all your breakfast foods are front and center in your fridge so they are easy no brianers when you are just waking up. Use Tupperware to divide salads for the week, or any other meal you decide to have. Make it so easy that all you have to do is pull it out the fridge, heat if necessary, and then devour. If you are packing your lunches, why not pack them now, put a label on them noting each day, and then put them in the fridge. If you are portioning out snacks, do it now. For my 1 cup grapes, I like to wash the fruit, and then measure them out into Ziplock bags for the week. The whole idea is a grab and go system so that you are never standing at the refrigerator with the door open wondering what you should eat.

This system really helps to keep food costs and waste down. It might be cumbersome the first week or two but then it will get easier, I promise. Another plus to food prepping is that you can measure out correct portions which will keep you from over-eating.

3) The next step is to get moving. Look at your calendar for the week, where do you have some time to exercise? Schedule in at least 4 workouts for the week. Just 30 minutes is enough. You can do anything; go to a class at the gym, go for a run, walk, at-home workout videos, heck even YouTube has some amazing options. My personal favorite is to run for cardio and do Tone It Up videos at home. Those are my go-to workouts, and they are effective. Later you will need to add variety, but this is just a jump-start, so anything you choose will be effective.

After scheduling your meals and workouts you will begin to feel a lot better. Mostly because you will have a plan! After utilizing the plan after about three days you will begin to see results. Slowly but surely you will start to feel like yourself again, I promise! Sometimes life gets a little crazy and we settle into doing what's easy, but easy doesn't have to be bad for you! Taking a few hours every Sunday to meal plan and schedule your workouts will save you so much time and headache during the week.

After a few weeks you will continue to lose extra pounds and begin to feel better about yourself. Once you feel normal again it's important to find a balance. Continue it plan your meals but it will be OK to splurge once or twice a week! Life will happen, and I demand you are present for yours! Just find the right balance for you to maintain your happy!

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I Quit!

Three things I would like to quit: TV, Processed Sugar, and Chips.  Those just happen to be my 3 favorite things in the world.  They are my comfort, and have provided me with many endorphins throughout the years... decades even.  But here me out...

1) TV.  I am in love with Netflix.  I love characters and stories.  I am not so much a "reality TV" person, although I have been guilty of wasting a whole day watching Housewives, but the fiction is what gets me.  I love to be engrossed in an amazing plot.  I fall in love with characters.  Sometimes I go so far as to actually feel connected to them, as though they are my actual Friends.  Yes, I'm aware that makes me borderline delusional.  I accept that.

Here's the problem: I can, and have, spent entire days watching TV.  Sure Ill be on my phone at the same time, or Ill hit the floor for some sit ups, but hardly ever do I walk out of the room while the TV is on.  I get so obsessed with certain shows; I once watched an entire season of Dexter in one day.  Yup.  Had pizza delivered to the couch and everything.  So guess whats not getting done while I waste away doing push ups between dialogue? Homework.  Reading assignments.  Writing.  Working on my novel.  Spending time with my son.  Actually cooking a meal (ah, memories).  Catching up with friends and family.  Working on my BLOG!

Honestly, I could be living such a fulfilled life if I cut back on TV.  My productivity level would sky-rocket, and my social life would increase... slightly (hey, there is no cure for introversion).

2) Processed Sugar.  Chemistry lesson: sugar that is found in natural foods, such as fruits (fructose) and carbohydrates (glucose and variants) are imperative to our health.  Do I need a ton to be healthy? No, you never want to over-do it with any nutrient (except water soluble vitamins, you cant hurt yourself too bad with those).  What our bodies can absolutely do without is processed sugar.  Any time sugar is ADDED to anything.  Candy, donuts, sweet breads, soda (yes even diet), sweetened iced teas, etc.  Do away with it! Why? because it spikes your blood-glucose levels, and after a series of chemical reactions, the bottom line is that it makes you fat.  We don't need added sugar in our lives.

The problem with cutting out sugar is that I am an emotional eater.  Just because I am a Dietetic Major doesn't mean that I eat perfectly.  I am, however more aware of what I should not be doing, and eating my feelings is not good.  Quiting sugar is really hard!  Because your body likes blood-glucose spikes, when it drops, your brain is like "gimmie gimmie" and even if you know you shouldn't shove that donut in your mouth, you do it anyway, because the control center of your body demanded it so!  This is called an ADDICTION.  Have you seen those studies done on Oreos? Where they show the brain on Oreos, and then a brain on cocaine, and its all lit up in the same areas?  Yeah like that!

The good news is after about two weeks of withdrawals your body adjusts, and you can kick your addiction relatively fast.  Without rehab.  I might need rehab.  Do they have sugar rehab? Is rehab the Biggest Loser Ranch?

3) Chips.  Hello, my name is Cristen, and I am addicted to spicy nacho Doritos.  These Delicious little corn chips are not Satan necessarily; they are just energy-dense and lack nutrients.  Its basically just salt and carbohydrates without any of the good stuff.  Straight to your energy stores, and of course you can never have just a few, you eat the whole bag, and what does your body do with excess energy intake? Oh yeah, it stores it.  Yay! ...not yay.

I can eat super healthy all day long, and be starving every three hours.  When I eat a grab bag of Doritos, somehow it fills me up for a lot longer.  Why?? TBD.  It sure does appeal to my efficient side.  Plus its so easy to just buy something rather then prepare a homemade lunch!  There is so much sodium on those little guys, not only do they make you feel fat, but you get to be bloated too.  Its this gross, but satisfying, yucky feeling.  Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

If I stop eating chips I would drop 10 pounds in about a month.  I guarantee it.  SO why cant I stop!??  Oh right, I'm starving all the time (thanks excessive exercise), and I'm an emotional with a side of stress eater.  A peer of mine mentioned in class that it is mind over matter, however easy or difficult that may be.  I agree with her; the bottom line is that you can continue to give in to your vices, or you can practice personal strength and concur them.

The challenge is to give myself a month, roughly, allowing for some mistakes along the way (what do you mean I'm not perfect?).  I had been off sugar for three days, until I stressed out on some donuts earlier, so Ill start again tomorrow.  The TV has been off ALL day!  I got so much homework done! I'm so proud of myself! And tomorrow I will do everything I can to avoid buying a bag of chips.  Just one day at a time!

What are your vices??

Obsessed

Today I share what I have been obsessed with lately:

 

Song: Lolita, by Lana Del Rey. She is such an amazing artist, and this jam is on repeat. Like, always.

 

Show: Modern Family! There are so many one liners in this show; it literally has me laughing out load. Random family members tend to wander into my room when it's on to see what all the commotion is. They don't get it, but this show is hilarious. It's also socially forward which I appreciate!

 

Clothes: Fabletics. I'm new to fabletics, and above is a picture of the first outfit I've purchased. I couldn't wait to receive it to inspect the quality, and when I did I was pleased to feel how soft it was! The quality is amazing, the prices are great; I will be a member of this company for life! Thanks Kate Hudson!

 

Apps: in order

1) Meal Board; lets me plan meals in advance and also imports recipes from a large handful of online resources. Some of my favorites are vegetarian times, all recipes, and skinny taste.

2) 7notes lets me convert hand written notes into type. Real time. Amazing!

3) Next issue! All the magazines I can read for only $10 a month? Yeah, for me, it's worth it! Plus you can download back issues which is great! Also, some magazines have built in tutorials! In some of my fitness magazines you can click on an image for a tutorial of how to do a certain move. Interactive reading is fun!

4) Blogsy. (I'm using it right now!) I can draft posts and drag pictures, links, and videos right from my side board. It really doesn't get any easier.

5) Noteshelf. Create journals, notebooks, and even sketchbooks with this app! It has all kinds of different paper styles, and is really user friendly. I use this for personal purposes.

6) Noteability: Probably the most important app of my college career; I can write hand written notes directly on documents imported from blackboard! I can also record lectures while taking notes. Where has this app been all of my life?!

 

Character: Groot. This is baby Groot, who is a growing version if full sized Groot. He is amazing that way :) if you haven't seen Guardians of the Galaxy yet, go do it now. That movie is hilarious!

Question: what are you obsessed with right now?

 

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Party Planning!

When I had Maddex on September 11, 2005, one of the sweet nurses (actually the only sweet nurse) I had told me that the fact that my and my sons birthdays were so close (mine is October 3) means good luck! Personality-wise I have to agree with her. Maddex and I get along very well! The only trouble is every year I have to plan an event for his birthday around the same time school starts, and there never seems to be enough time or energy to get it all worked out. Not without a major headache anyway. This year brings an added stress as I am turning 30! Not wanting to sit at home while beginning the new decade of my existence, I also needed to figure out where I want to cry into a box (I'm classy like that) of wine on my birthday.

Boom! My school starts, his school starts, his birthday hits, and then mine, all in a whirlwind one month period. It's an equation for stress. Normally I don't enjoy the presence of a lot of children. Jam hands and evil, unfiltered personalities not yet concealed by societies mask of manners; children scare the crap out of me. Ideally I like to celebrate with Maddex by letting him invite 1 or 2 friends to go do something fun. That way I can maintain control. This year is different. I can't take him anywhere too fun because my beautiful niece will be born right around that time, and my sister has forbid us to leave the city. So, in a brush of insanity, I decided it would be "fun" to throw Maddex an epic party at the house.

In Clovis it is law that if you invite one kid to a party you have to invite them all! So that is what we're going to do. Invite his whole class over for the most amazing Guardians Of The Galaxy themed party ever! I even bought a life sized cardboard cutout of Groot on amazon. I have a very talented girl sketching out a "baby Groot in his planter" cake, and there will be costumes! Maddex doesn't know yet, but it's going to be amazing fun. I may or may not be drinking heavily.

While riding the high of having a plan for Maddexs party, I also figured out what to do for my birthday! Bass Lake is located less then an hour from my house, and over the weekend of October 3, their rates are extremely low! So I booked a two story cottage right on the water for dirt cheap! That is where I will end my 20's and begin my 30's. I'm also bringing my 20 year old boyfriend (yeah, there are perks to dating a younger man ;) with me, because well, let's just say he's useful... And gorgeous. Super low key, very relaxing, and everything an introvert could hope for!
Birthday season: accomplished!

Question: what do you like to do on your birthday??

Xoxo,
Cristen

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Back to School Essentials

It's that time of year again! Time to gather all things organizational in hopes that this will finally be the semester you will get it together and focus on the learning rather then searching endlessly for last weeks notes! Usually the items that top my back to school list are notebooks and pencils, but this year is different:

1) iPad air! With apps that let you hand write class notes like traditional paper and pen (and even convert directly into type) gone are the days of retyping hand written notes! What a time saver! Also the convienince of having your online assignments, Word and PowerPoint documents, ebooks, as well as the internet all in one light weight device is priceless!  Now I won't have back pain trying to carry my computer to school everyday!  Seriously, this is the best purchase I've Ever made!

                      

2)Backpack!! Although the load has lightened, you still need to carry around lunch! It's best to have a backpack so your purse doesn't get too heavy from all those sandwiches!  A Pencil pouch for stylus and chargers is also a must. 

                                         

3) Functional Outfits. I prefer yoga clothes from Aspire. As my age increases my ability to withstand scratchy, uncomfortable clothes decreases. I don't buy anything that isn't super soft! Aspire brand, accessible through my local sports authority, has especially soft articles. I highly recommend them!  When you're sitting through classes all day, or snuggled up in the library focusing on the learning, the last thing you want is to be uncomfortable. Bring the comfort of the bedroom with you!

                                        

4) Starbucks Gold Card. If you're still on Green Card status (how adorable) don't worry, you'll get there! A stocked Starbucks card is the all access pass to much the needed rocket fuel you will require throughout the semester. College is not the time to give up caffeine. Embrace the golden god, you get a free drink for ever 12 you buy. 

That's about it! Welcome to the age of technology! Going practically paperless saves so much time and muscle aches. Here's a question: what were your back to school essentials?? 

Xoxo, 

Cristen

How To Get Over A Breakup

Breaking up is one of the hardest things people experience.  Weather you are on the breaking end or the broken, it always hurts.  Recently I went through a particularly bad break up, and only through doing the following things did I start to feel better.  So I am sharing them with the world, in hopes that they might help someone else get over the pain a bit quicker, and get back to the good life.

1) Acceptance
Cut off communication with your ex, at least for the time being.  Seeing him or her will just make you feel even worse then you already do.  No conversation is going to make you feel better about the loss, so just avoid it at all costs.  Its over, for whatever reason, and you will be okay.  Hopefully you will be better for it!

2) Make a couple lists: 
a) What are you grateful for in life?
Writing a list of the top 10 things you are grateful for, and framing it by your bed so you see it every morning, is a great way to look through the pain and realize what is really important in life.  Remembering to appreciate your family, or healthy body, is a powerful tool you can use to get your sad butt out of bed.

b) What kind of things do YOU like to do?
In relationships we tend to make a lot of compromises.  One thing I did a lot in my last relationship was watch movies before bed with my ex-boyfriend.  Once we broke up I realized that I would rather read before bed.  I remembered that I loved to run at night rather then hanging out with him at his house being ignored when his friends came over.  Making a list of all the things that you like to do will remind you who you genuinely are.  You will learn to reconnect with your authentic self once you see it on paper.

3) Change your routine.
This step correlates with list B from step 2! A lot of times the hardest part of losing someone is the drastic change in every day events.  You woke up with them every morning, and now you wake up alone.  You went to lunch everyday, but now you fend for yourself.  Or the worst: you are halfway through Breaking Bad, and now there is no one around to watch it with you! The great thing about writing out what kinds of things you like to do is that you can create your own routine centered around yourself.  It will feel strange at first, but trust me, you will fall into it pretty easily.  Before long, you will be living each day for YOU, and no one else.

4) Be selfish.  
Focus on being the you that you want to be, not who you feel you should be according
to anyone else.  Before making any decisions really look inward to see if it is really what you want.  When I say "be selfish", I don't mean turn into a mean person who rages against manners.  Just really focus on what makes you genuinely happy, and follow those feelings.

5) Connect with family and close friends: They will never leave you.
Family and close friends are wonderful, because they are the people in your life who can never break up with you!  Embrace the people in your life who are built in support.  Learn to appreciate your siblings and close friends more then you ever have before.  Its this kind of love that heals the soul.

Don't worry, you will be loved again.  Its just a matter of time, so never let that get you down.

What Do I Tell Him About Sex?

You could say I lucked out in the kid department: having a boy is supposed to shield me from pubescent nightmares that are usually associated with the fairer sex, but as Maddex gets older, more and more the scary topics become closer and closer to a reality.  In a comical way, I am looking forward to having "The Talk"! Making Maddex super uncomfortable, ensuring that he will be retelling the moment to his future therapist, is actually a thought that brings a smile to my face (I never claimed to be a good mother), but the actual content of this talk is something I have just recently been considering.

Do I do what my parents did and completely ignore the subject; fitting in a "don't do it" here and there as though it was casual conversation?

Do I sit him down with a priest to tell him all about the sins of the flesh?

Or do I tell him what I actually think? Which is this:

Sex is a beautiful act of humanity, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.  That being said, there are consequences that he will need to think about and be prepared for before he considers taking that step in his life. The big three: Pregnancy, STDs, and of course to always consider that a girls feelings are more complex then he will ever realize.  I can guard my son from unplanned pregnancy.  I can scare him into practicing safe sex with blown up pictures of Genital Warts and Herpes.  But how can I get him to understand that once he experiences the act with a girl, she and him will be forever changed?

I still remember what it felt like to be a teenager.  The sad truth is that no matter what I say to him he will do whatever he want wants, and all I can do is put in my two cents before he develops his own ideas.  So I better get there early.  And from what I am hearing from the youngsters these days, kids start getting physical earlier and earlier.  (Enter freak-out moment here)

Do you have kids? Do you want kids? Do you have any ideas about what you will tell them regarding sex when they reach the age of sexual maturity??

Supporting Other Writers

I'm not sure why, but it is fairly known throughout literary circles that writers are super competitive toward one another.  I have a friend who got her Bachelors in creative writing at San Fransisco State years ago, and is currently trying to get her Masters! I am so proud of her!  She was bit by the writing bug when we took a creative writing class together years and years ago at the community college level.  We got along so well, sharing a love for words, books, and stories, as well as coffee and day dreaming about adventures and trips across the world.  When she switched her major from art to creative writing, I felt a disconnect in our friendship.  Slowly over the years she began to move away from me emotionally, and now we are mearly facebook friends.  I mourned my friend for a while, even becoming angry at one point, but only because I didn't understand what was going on.  Then one day she posted an article about writers and why "we" compete with each other.  Suddenly it hit me hard: it wanst personal; her putting space between us was simply because we were both writers.  She stopped looking at me and our conversations as friendly, and began to see me as a competitor.

I read the article she posted, and thought long and hard about how I feel about other writers.  My conclusion was this: only people who are insecure feel the need to compete with their peers.  Its true that a lot of people who create experience a lot of self doubt, but that is no need to put someone else down.  Here is my list of reasons why I will never compete with another writer:

1) The support in the writing community is an energy that feeds your work!  On a rough day, just texting a fellow writer for some feedback or positive affirmation can get you through a project, why would anyone give that up?

2) The more writers out there, the more stories we get to read! No two minds are alike! We all have different stories and point of views to convey! Personally I get excited to read another persons words because they are so different from mine! Its refreshing!

3) Books are dying :( the more writers we have out there, the less that last statement will become the sad truth.

So every time I hear that a friend has begun writing a book, or another has become published, I break out the champagne and celebrate! I am always there to support their efforts, and encourage them in any way I can! We do not need to compete with each other, because in the end, we all win!

That being said, when I found out Chelsea got her book published, I immediately went on amazon to buy her book.  I am currently still reading it, and cannot wait to finish it and write a review! Getting a book published is such an amazing feat, and might I mention courageous! If my old friend ever gets published, I will of course support her as well, and buy her book.  I will read it with a smile on my face and send her a lovely card telling her how much I enjoyed her words, because I know they will be brilliant! Hopefully one day she will realize that competing with other writers just cuts you off from positive resources, and she will come back to the light.

Apps I Cant Live Without

Today we are talking about our favorite Apps!! The following list is pretty obvious, but I honestly cannot live without each of these little guys.  Seriously, for someone my age, iPhone and Apps are a relatively new thing! Best invention ever.

Social media apps: (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter) okay these are obvious, but when I am bored, I like to check out what everyone is up to!

Day One: I mostly journal through Day One on my computer, but its nice to have it on my phone in case I need to jot down a quick list or funny thought.

Nike: I log miles nearly everyday.  I cant live without this app!

Pinterest: When I am feeling the need to be inspired, which is often.

Tone it up: Daily work outs at your fingertips! You don't need to be a member to download the app and benefit from the workout schedules! I highly recommend this one for any active girls who like being told what to do in order to look amazing!!

Maps: I have been working the same neighborhoods for nearly 3 years, and I still need my GPS to find some houses! Without this app I would be stranded in the country way too often.

Golden One: Its so convenient to check banking balances and be able to make transfers on the go! (I sound like a freakin commercial)

Drop!: Its a coin game, and seriously addicting.  There is not a day that goes by where I don't play it.

Camera: Obviously, I need to document my life in pictures.

Audible: Yay! Audible books on the go! Especially helpful while traveling.

Starbucks: I am new to the Starbucks app, but I love it! It is now my way of paying for coffee/tea and I cant part with it.

Amazon: Everything I need right at my fingertips

Google: I am an incredibly curious person.  I google random things quite often throughout the day.  If I had to wait until I was home to search for whatever I am musing over I would go crazy.

I am actually really excited to see what apps everyone else is using!!

Take A Look Into My Reality!

For today's prompt we are supposed to share what we are currently experiencing! I'm excited to participate, because I am secretly hoping that once I share whats going on over here, you will comment and share whats going on over where you are! Ready, Set, Lets do this!!!

Currently I am...

Reading:  I started The Maze Runner by James Dashner recently, although I haven't gotten very far in it yet! Today I ordered Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs, whose blog I absolutely adore! Once I receive that book in the mail, I will most likely push Mr. Maze Runner aside to devour Chelsea's book!

Writing:  I am working on my first novel! Yay! This is my first huge piece of fiction, and I am desperately trying to get the first draft done before the school semester begins!

Listening to: A Song Of Ice and Fire, book 5: A Dance With Dragons by George Martin courtesy of Audible.com Since my break up, its been difficult for me to listen to music.  Love songs make me sad, break up songs make me sad, its just a pile of sadness.  So while giving myself some space from the romantic ballads, I have been enjoying listening to epic journeys!

Thinking about: Disconnecting from TV for a while.  I honestly feel like it is the main cause for my writers block.  Also for my productivity block.  Netflix is my comfort food.

Smelling:  How stuffy my bedroom is!  Since its over 100 degrees over here in the central valley of California, I cannot keep my window open 24/7.  My bedroom also faces the sun all day long, so naturally, its the hottest room in the house.  Its just a stuffy, miserable existence, and I cant wait for fall!

Wishing: That my super attractive new co-worker wasn't an entire decade younger then me! In addition to being super hot, turns out hes really a great guy, and I'm like "your parents lied to you, you were born in '84 not '94!" Damn it!

Hoping: That Ackels will eventually turn into a lap cat.  I tried to cuddle him during nap time today and he kept getting up, walking away, and then falling back to sleep.  What a jerk!

Wearing: Shorts and tank tops.  Its so hot here that just the thought of pants warrants a cold shower.

Wanting: Another 3 months of no school or stress! Like a longer summer without it actually being summer.  I know what you're thinking: take a semester off school! No, I can't, because the way my program is set up, that would put me back an entire year.  ...Ain't nobody got time for dat!

Loving: My baby boy, Maddex, and missing him like CRAZY!!

Needing: To start going to some of the classes offered at my gym.  I always say I am going to, but then I chicken out, because, social anxiety.

My Day In GIFs

My day to day is pretty normal.

I like to start with a nice long, warm bath

I always try to eat healthy, even if its other peoples food.

I work as a pizza driver, which looks a lot like this.

After work I usualy go for a run,

because I dont want to look like this ^

And then at some point after all that, I pass out.

Side note: Im a cat.

Would You Rather..

Hi everyone! Id love to report that I am FINALLY feeling better!  That was such a terrible week, although I still lost the 2 pounds I was hoping for, so that is a plus.  More then anything, I am glad to be back to blogging after taking quite a few days off.  Today's prompt for July 20th is Would You Rather! Here we go :)

Would you rather questions:

1. Be blind or be deaf

Deaf, absolutely! I get anxiety in the dark... plus I'm a visual learner! 

2. Be taller than you are or shorter than you are

If I was shorter Id be fatter, and since I'm trying to lose weight, I suppose a nice stretch would be nice.  Nothing taller then 5'8" though, cause I like to wear heals!

3. Be a teenager or a senior citizen for the rest of your life

Teenager, but with all the knowledge I have now! Can you say perfect skin and metabolism forever? Sign me up!

4. Have no hands or no legs

Just kill me, kill me dead.

5. Lose your front teeth or both eyebrows

Whats more expensive? Veneers or eyebrow pencils? 

6. Eat a worm or a cockroach

Worm.  I don't like tiny legs.  fun fact: I did chew a worm once for $20. Then I lost the $20.  Sad day.

7. Spend a day in the Sahara or North Pole

North Pole! Id hang out with Santa's reindeer! Best vacation ever.

8. Have a personal chef or a personal driver

Personal chef! That would be so convenient! Plus I love to drive, so I wouldn't want to give it up!

9. Always have to whisper or always have to shout

Whisper.  Better to be mysterious then obnoxious!

10. Can't taste or can't smell

Cant smell.  Sure Id miss the smell of baking bread, but how cool would it be to not have to hold your breath in a bathroom? Or insult your other half by not kissing them first thing in the morning!

11. Wipe with sandpaper or saran wrap

Haha, mental pictures galore! Saran wrap; it would be annoying, but at least it would leave permanent damage.

12. Have Twitter shut down for a day or your blog disappear for a day

Probably my blog.  I'm more interested in what other people are up to then having people see what I am up to.  

13. Text of your blog is screwed up or all the pictures you post on your blog are blurry

Well a picture says 1000 words, so I suppose I could tell a story without words! 

14. Never be able to post another GIF or never be able to receive comments on your posts

Never post another GIF.  I love comments, they make me feel connected :)

15. Have a permanent wedgie or have the tag on your shirt constantly scratch your neck

Bring on the scratchy tags.  

Im Sick

Hi everyone! I just wanted to pop on over here to let you know I didn't fall off the face of the earth.  I'm just sick.  Like really sick.  Somehow I have gained enough energy to write this, but otherwise I'm being useless in bed.  Even the thought of getting up, going to the kitchen, and making soup seems like a journey destined for a charmed hobbit.  I am not up for that kind of adventure.

Anyway, I can't wait to start feeling better so I can continue to participate in the Blog Every Day In July challenge!!!

Talk to you soon :)

If I was locked in solitary confinement...

..and I could only have one possession with me, I would choose my computer (with working wifi).  Yeah, okay, it seems obvious, but picture this: you're all alone encompassed in gray walls.  A crikety cot with a flimsy white sheet are among your only comforts, and no one is allowed to visit you.  Would you take a book? a TV? a favorite mattress?? No, not me.  I would bring my computer because:

1) It would allow me to connect with the outside world

2) I could watch shows, movies, YouTube

3) I could read online, also listen to books with my Audible.com membership

4) I could write

5) I could still skype with my loved ones.

6) I would have a calender app so I wouldn't have to mess up my nails scratching tics into the walls to count days.

Our computers are all in one entertainment machines, and I could not live without it.

5 Peple I'd Like to Have Dinner With

1) JK Rowling
She wrote Harry Potter, which is one of my favorite stories of all time.  Her mind created some of my favorite characters of all time, and I want to pick her brain about how she did it!!! Plus just listening to her accent would be awesome.  Also, we could trade stories about single motherhood, and then after a filling meal of pasta and wine, we could bust out our notebooks and play writing games!

2) Seth Rogan
Who is hilarious, and I have a feeling we would get along really well! We would probably get high and eat a ton of junk food... and then I would show him healthy alternatives to his favorite snacks and he'd love me forever.  Then his friends would come over, and Id have people to hang out with in LA for the rest of my life.

3) My Future Husband
This one is obvious, lets get this party started

4) The President of The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics
Could you image rubbing elbows with the top person in your field of study? That is what this would be like for me.  We would eat a ton of veggies, talk shop, and she/he would tell all possible future employers to hire me immediately because I am brilliant!

5) Hitler (pre-Holocaust)
So I could poison him, and watch him die painfully.